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Fat Pork's Interrogation - ILLEGAL Yale Workshop Cast Album (LYRICS IN DESCRIPTION)

by: Skyler Chin     Published on: 31 August 2019

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~~LYRICS~~Q (LEE): Interrogation of Applicant 7-24. Interpreting, Carter LeeQ (PB JONES + LEE): You are advised your right to admission to this country will be today considered by this Board. The regulations state that if your answers to these questions do not match those of your alleged father, William Wong, you will be denied entry to the US. Applicant number 7-24 sworn. [Lee stops, PB carries on]Q: State your name, your age, --looks at paper-- and your place of birthA: Fat Pork, 21, USA, for what it’s worthQ: Married? A: NoQ: Siblings? A: 1 Q: state their name and whereabouts A: Devin Wong, New York Q: did you leave any siblings out? A: nope Q: grandparents still alive?A: no Q: where’s your grandpa buried?A: with my grandmother Q: …kid… which cemetery? A: Valhalla Q: New York?A: -aside- man they’re tryna break my balls Q: now, the house you have in China -- how tall are the walls? A: like 20 feet Q: describe the houseA: 2 floors and a basementQ: describe your roof in detail A: uh, the tiles need replacementQ: which way do the doors face? A: the back one faces westQ: where does your dad sleep? A: upstairsQ: --whose house is on the left?A: we call him Captain TsoQ: what’s his sister’s name, this friend?A: she’s General TsoQ: does your street have a dead end? A: noQ: Where do you live in the states? A: Chinatown Q: why are you here now?A: Went to China, now i’m back -- must’ve been a few years nowQ: have you ever been to pike street?A: yes Q: describe your last tripA: street food, Q: did you leave a cash tip? A: no Q: how far and what direction?A: East? [aside] this is so bad Q: which market did you go to?A: I didn’t know I had to know that Q: what kind of pavement leads there?A: dirt Q: that’s not what your father statedA: probably because we’re on the border, and borders are complicatedQ: next question, as part of your applicationList the partners doing commerce in this fine, fine nationA: Sam Kai Chung, William Wong, and my younger brother Devin, Got like three to four cousins, uhhhhhhQ: -taking notes- there should be more than seven.. What’s your role in the company?A: HugeQ: Your father says that isn’t trueA: You coulda been deceived... just had to check, didn’t you?Q: any others in China? A: no, we’re American Q: there must be!A: y-Yeah i got em all, you can… you can trust me. -clears throat-Ah youSum Dum Gai,Sum Ting Wong, Wit YouQ: -cuts FP off- That’s enough. --scribbling--FAT PORK [Aside]:These people don’t want me here. These questions are just designed to pin yaMy dad and me? We can’t agree on what we had for dinner What kinda crap question is next in this dialogue? --turns back to PB JONES--Q: What is the name and location of your neighbor’s sister’s dog?A:...Da fuk?Q: Applicant 7-24, is that the name or the location? ...How is it that you don’t agree with your own father regarding the name of your neighbor’s sister’s dog?A: Just let me in, I’m his son, I’m so done. Check pleaseYou’re making up these complicated questions to get meDeported. Inspector, you think you’re some kinda sleuth?Then how come you can’t tell that i’m just tellin the truth?Q: Either your pants on fire, or your dad’s a liarHeck, not even a cheat sheet could make your chances higherYou ain’t the son of a merchant, Nor of fine gentry Can’t prove it, I move that you’re denied entry.A: ai ya...~~#Illegalmusical #illegal #yale #chineseexclusionactYale 2019 Workshop at the Lighten TheaterDirected by Olivia FaciniThanks to Sita Sunil, Devin Chin andPERFORMERS:Sam Kee Lin - Sophia DaiSlim Chin/Sam Kai Chung - Skyler ChinWong Fat Pork - Kathy Mae MinInterpreter Carter Lee - Ananya ParthasarathyPB Jones - Jason KimLai Wah/Poet - Jisu SheenMr. White, Esquire - Daniel Flesch